Wednesday, January 31, 2007

It Kills Us...

K-k-kill the children
Leave them out in the snow
Lock the doors
Bar the windows
Watch them all go

Sh-sh-shiver the shutters
The wind doth shake
The house
The rafters
Watch what they take

La-la-lie to the Master
When he asks what you've done
They're dead
They're gone
They'll come back with the sun...

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Stop

Look

Faithless?
Heretic
Solemn?
Heretic
Driven?
Heretic
Souless?
Heretic
BLOODY HERETIC!

Wait, just kidding

Last Memorial

She was in me
Holding me back
Pushing me down
Til I saw black
I was calling and stalling
Weeping into the wind
Crying for help
To get her out again
She was in me
Wanting my life
Screaming not to remember
Dying to live

RIP Jennifer Stowers
please...

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Interrogation of the Fish's Interlude in G Major

Riptide, here is the sun...
Liquid nitrogen to drink us to sleep
Oh, drink us to sleep
Fall to the waves and the deep...deep...deep...
Repeat
Refrain
Refrain from the voices in your brain
Brain or mind
Rather, is this the time?
Time to live
Or time to die
Die or dye or die this suicide
In shades
Shades of deadly, deadly might
Might, bright, light, sight...
Night
Here, good knight, and take your sword
From the stone you stand
To hold this hand
Hand to me
To me
Me
I
Will
Dream
Until the moon stops shining...

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Hearfelt Suicide

Listen...no, don't listen. I have nothing worth saying. Mock me as you wish. All I have is this lingering darkness. Linger...bad taste in my mouth...like blood and yet...there's something else.

Star light
Star bright
Give me the chance
To speak tonight

Wish I may
Wish I might
Take this darkness
And die inside

What do I have to offer you? I have my past, I lay that at your feet, to trample, to kick, to kill. I'll always play the fool, here with this loyalty I offer. Always play the one to fall, take the blame, I'll take your darkness away with my heart. It's what I do. Don't stop me from living this life in death. In death...in death...in death...

Slasher
Gasher
Bleeding red to black to red
Purest
Surest
One more and you're dead

Echo, me, I stand, I fall, I stand, I fall. I fall to earth and lose my wings. Was I an angel? Of darkness....of darkness....of light of hope and pain and darkness. I fall to earth and lose my wings. I fall to earth and lose my wings. I fall to earth and hope to start anew

Death defying
Strive to die an unassisted suicide
Last chance
Last chance to fall to hell
Hold my hand
And hold my hand
And hold my head to yours
And give me one kiss
Before the dark creeps in

May the Moon Stop Shining...

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Return Return Return

*click*

Just got back from the Fiesta Bowl this morning. Slept all day (gosh damn 26 hours on a bus). Long story short, I didn't have to kill anyone. Just maim (I kid, I kid). It was fun. We placed 11th out of 12. Ok, so we sucked it up, but we were the only invited band from the state. Gosh. Got to see the Grand Canyon and all that jazz.

With all the voices raging, past the door, come, follow us down

Spent all our waking moments doing stuff. Swimming, practice, party, seminar, going some random place to eat. Got to see the Organ Stop. Simply amazing. Although now I'm completely sick of everyone in band. Wish they'd all just die...should say jk here, but I'm not really.

Take us at our word, follow, with all the voices in your ear, straight to the darkness

I played with something that I should never have touched...when will I learn to leave the spirit world to its own devices...here I am, shaken, unsettled, unclean, trying to convince myself that I wasn't...wasn't...involved...

She said 'Don't make me remember' but what am I if not an echo chamber?

She looked me over, ran her/my hands across her/my legs, answered my phone. She said it wasn't a bad body. She said she could accept this. I sat to the side, frozen, stuck, wanting to be myself and yet stopped. She typed back a message. She saw his picture. She smiled.

I was crying inside, following the trail of oblivion, calling and stalling and weeping into the wind

She wanted to meet him. She looked through my memories. I'm unclean...I'm dirty...cast her away, I have the control...easier said than done. I cried inside...and choked. Who am I? I could remember...nothing that I had ever been through before.

"Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep"

The fire raged and the bodies...the screams...it hurt, I was dying...no...she was...what was I doing? I had no control...

It was complications from Zoloft. Suicide. She was tempted by the daemons in the bathroom. She took too many pills. Settled down with her wine. When she realized what was happening, she was angry. The daemon looked on. She died from an assisted suicide. Case Closed.

So why do I still feel unclean...?
 
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