Pasts and Presents

You have the hardest time with each day
Waiting for the pain to go away
You keep hiding yourself from everything
Hoping for night to come and swallow you whole
But you've found a solution (soul pollution)
Without knowing the toll


Was it everything you hoped for?
Dragging a bloody knife against your skin
Did it answer all your questions?
Or are you more lost within?
Was it everything you hoped for?


Each scar helps the weeks blend away
But you don't realize you've become the prey
The night creeps up and with it your desire
You don't know what went wrong
Like a lamb led to the guillotine (innocence became obscene)
You know you've been at it far too long


Was it everything you hoped for?
Dragging a bloody knife against your skin
Did it answer all your questions?
Or are you more lost within?
Was it everything you hoped for?


Some day soon you'll cut too deep
And you'll have regrets as you fall asleep
Who will come across you as you rest
Blithly fallen, all thoughts to life ignored
Bitter tears will follow you down (drown and drown and drown)
Was it everything you hoped for?


Was it everything you hoped for?
Dragging a bloody knife against your skin
Did it answer all your questions?
Or are you more lost within?
Was it everything you hoped for?

Was it everything you hoped for?

Was it everything you hoped for?

Resolved and yet...

One of my two resolutions is to write more. In general, natch, but specifically here. I've been ever so lax on this front and it's always helped inspire me. So...there.

It's just hard when I can't think of anything to write about :-/

I used to just sit down and write, but now it's like...idk, like I've lost my muse, I suppose. I really need to find some writing exercises or something. It's just, every time I find some, they don't interest me, or they're stupid or lame or what have you. I do have a story going at the moment, about a boy who eats his mother's eyes. While she's tied to a bed. He's six. ^_^" happy fun times

Tears of the Past

Sometimes I go back and read over what happened
I have trouble letting go
I just want to know if I was right to run
Or if I should have stayed and fought and bled to death
Passed out pieces of my soul to anyone around

I don't know, maybe there was a better way
And I just missed it

Everything's been left in pieces
And here I am wondering what happened
What happened to the circle I had
To the friends and the faces...

I have them on my mind a lot
And there's no way for me to say anything to them
So I just think
And I wonder if I could have made a difference
If I could have changed the outcome
If only I hadn't taken a side

But I did
So is it my fault that everything fell apart?
I keep wondering and chasing these thoughts
And keep going back to the evidence of what happened

I still wonder if they're all okay
Everyone
Was I the weak link in the chain?

I'd like to think not

Chuck?!?!?

I haven't posted in over a month. You'd think I'd at least be sorry about that, or feel weird, or something. Maybe a little on edge. I've not written much in this "break." I finally wake up again and now I'm not even writing. I've created something too comfortable to break out of. A nest of compliance and laziness and just five more minutes. It's not that I don't have ideas. I do. Really good ones. But when I finally get time to write, there's always something else that sounds better. Like gaming, or Y answers, or some show or movie. Anything other than sitting down and applying myself to what I love.

I finally wake to a world of grey
I won't bother anyway
I won't do it at all today
I'm just breathing...

In my defense, I've been working psycho amounts of OT, so good moneys, not so good quality of life outside of work lol. Hopefully we'll get slow again. While I appreciated the extra for Christmas, now I just want to relax for a while. This is like, the first Saturday in over three weeks that I've had off. I'm excited lol. Last Monday we went to see the Unborn and it got me thinking a lot about exorcism. A lot.

Mariposa
When will you dance?

Sooo...yeah. Video games are cool. *_* lol. I got Mirror's Edge for Christmas and it's had me enthralled. I've always loved the people who can do that. I found a video of a couple guys a few years ago who were simply amazing. Yes, I'm jealous

Candles burn too cold
So I set the house on fire
And it still wasn't enough
I only wasted a little time
Before I knew
And set the world ablaze

Chuck Norris can squeeze the orange juice from a banana