Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Winter Solstice

You are full of arrogance
Floating through life in a dream,
Assuming that you are the only truth
The center of the storms
Thinking you have found the only way
The only light, the only life,
Demanding that everyone be exactly as you.
Who do you think you are?
Arrogant to the last
Who do you think you are?



My mother sent me a cd for Christmas. This would be alright if it was in a genre I actually listened to. But I do not listen to contemporary Christian music. At all. No exceptions. And the only reason I ever did was because she bought me cds and I tried them.

She texted me today and asked me to listen to all of it. I personally cannot stand their music. I've looked up clips to make sure. I said I probably wouldn't. She sent back that there was no reason for me to celebrate Christmas since it's a celebration of Christ's birthday then.

She said I shouldn't celebrate Christmas since I didn't like her present.

Dear Mother, I hope you're reading this. Christmas started as a pagan holiday. Jesus was probably born around March. You haven't liked everything I've gotten you before, but you still accepted it graciously and I never demanded that you listen to/read/use your gift. I appreciate the fact that that cd helped you through a tough time in your life. Really. What you need to understand is that I HATE that music, and I don't care how much it means to you, I am not going to voluntarily listen to that. Please keep in mind that I have radically different tastes than you do. And I have since ever.

Much love

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Demons Dreaming (Breathe In, Breathe In)

(Unceasing agony)
KNEEL
And know your defeat
PRAY
For mercy
How does it feel to be broken
How does it feel to be used
Abused
Warped into something else
(Kill me)
KNEEL
(Kill me)
PRAY
(Which way...)
Every tear is another link in the chain
Every breath is another wave of pain
Every day is another way to spell defeat
(It's so sweet...)
So kneel at the feet
And pray

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Well, Does She?

I hold it in my arms.
Let me cry just one last time.
Hold me safe tonight.
(And does she worship?)
A veil torn from my face
Floats down onto the floor.
I walk the streets at night.
I am the darkness in your soul
The burnt edge on your toast.
(And does she worship?)
I hold my own.
Who can condemn me, who can hold me close?
I am always all alone.
Creature of darkness,
Creature of light,
I step into the sun,
I step into the night.
(And does she worship?)
What are you looking for, dark restless one?
Who are you seeking?
Will I know her when I find her?
(And does she worship?)
On this quest of many hatreds
I am the one to find my way.
Beg me to stay.
One little girl left out in the cold
I am always on my own.
(And does she worship?)
Sitting at a table with a paper at my hand
And the words are written with blood and sand.
A desert stretching as far as I can feel.
(And does she worship?)
I know that I'm not real.
A fractured jewel held together with steel,
Faceted memories that I can only feel.
I am looking for the one I've always sought,
And they tell me it's God.
Tell me again.
The Mistress who walks at night,
The one who's always been just out of sight,
The one who kisses my trembling lips,
The one who gives me more than this,
Should I deny who I am?
Should I deny that she is my heart beating
Not beating
Beating
Not beating
In my chest?
(AND DOES SHE WORSHIP?)
I deny no longer.
Could it be yes?
 
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