Rage against the pain
if this is light i want nothing of it
it's all over for me, it's all the same
falling into the darkness and embraces
ah, my chains, you have waited for me
ah, my fear, you have finally gone
consume me again, here is my heart
understand that this is not goodbye
this is merely the beginning, where i start over
and realize what i should have seen from the beginning
love is not real, it does not exist
i would have changed but that is no longer possible
all the tears are gone now, no feeling
ah, my echoes, you come to me again
so close and yet inside me all the same
ah, my destruction, my havoc, beauty in chaos
recover into what was safe before
please stay safe now, and forever remember
NO MORE

don't think worse of me for what has happened, Aodhan. i send you my luv

Caffeine High

never drink more than your weight of caffeine...you'll start shaking and you won't stop for about...idk, roughly seven hours?? meh, i can't even remember what i did friday and saturday other than that i went to blitz...worked out...and worked at KK. and i talked to Shade! that was the other thing i did. yeah, i probably scared him cuz i was making no sense whatsoever, what with me having less than three hours of sleep and seven cups of really strong coffee in my veins.

uummm....today was whacked...filming a civil war trailer for class. and i'm not on speaking terms with anyone in that class really, so i got stuck with a bunch of preps (nothing else i can call them, much as i hate labeling). it wasn't too bad...we had maiming, death, and spies, so it really wasn't too bad. i wanted to be a random dead soldier, but i got to work the camera mostly instead cuz the other girl couldn't do it and since we had a group of four total, with two having majour parts, i was the "unwanted goth child who, of course, showed up in all black and who doesn't have a permit." however, on the up side of that... i brought the music and battle scenes, and i didn't show up with a hangover...

Lo siento por el sufrimiento.
Lo siento. Lo siento.
No más vida. No más muerte.
No más. No más.
¿Un cuchillo? ¿Dónde?
Dámelo ahora
Ahora, ahora, por favor,
Y esta noche hay termina.

Anarchy Grounds

and we will miss you, even though we have never met you. out of the craziness of the web we three found each other; friends? perhaps we are, i hope we are. and you won't even read this, but here is my tribute to you. your words will live on with us, missed, we wish you well, we wish you hope. so much hope. peace. happiness. continue on and live well, i wish you true happiness.

goodbye, and may the stars always shine for you

Redefined

i think it's really funny how people look at me. i just happened to get into NHS (National Honour Society) and even the sponsor can't look me in the eye. gosh, am i their first pothic person? i mean, i'm not usually threatening and i do try to be civil to these people...iunno, maybe they're just not used to someone wearing all black having a GPA greater than 3.5 or somwat. *sigh* and i get the strangest looks in my other classes too, i mean, besides creative writing, i fit in there mostly. but i'm taking AP and honours classes, what is these people's problem with that?!? it's like i'm going to go ninja on them and slaughter people. hmph, geez, i didn't know that this bothered me so much. guess so. anyways...at least we have break this week.

happy almost-thanksgiving to ya americans.

Haiku

Have faith in the dark
Even when the stars don't shine
They light up the night.


*almost hugs everyone, restrains self but just barely* anyways...got a job! yay! money! at krispy kreme. free donuts! score! and a 50% discount! more score! and...um...right, so guess tis about it for now, but you can expect posts from me...*small smile* much hope and happy thanksgiving to all you americans out there