False Hope

it's an interesting feeling, being on the verge of tears...i haven't cried in so long, i don't really remember...all i could think of was how good it would feel to cry again...what happend was a really stupid thing that just...shouldn't have made me like this...i was s'posed to go somewhere with some friends, and it was going good until i had a time that i had to meet them...then my mother (cuz i don't have my lisence yet) took me to a store and instead of just staying there about 20 mins like we were s'posed to, she made me stay 2 hours. so i'm there glaring at the clock and she's telling me to relax and not be so stressed. so we get in the car and go to pick up my check, which we were going to cash and then head out of town, well, i get my check and then my stepdad starts complaing that he's hungry (he was in the car with us) so we stop by burger king *barf* and get some food and sit in the lot and eat. then we go to cash the fucking check...then we just have to go home cuz my stepdad wanted to and unload the stuff we bought and i get a call saying that my friends are leaving and they have to go home (around this time was an hour fifteen after i was s'posed to meet them). so yeah...i pretty much almost break down on the phone...(for those wondering why this would bother me so much, i never do anything with any of my friends...cuz friends are bad dontcha know, well, that's what my stepdad says and he told me that i'm not good enough for them and all this shit) so yeah, i bought a benchpress bar and a curl bar and i'm assembling them in my room cuz i had to do something or explode and he comes in while my mom is helping me put the screw in and he says "don't throw this against the wall cuz it'll knock a hole in it." no shit, sherlock. gosh damn, i'm not a fucking retard. i'm in weight training for fuck's sake, i fucking know what one of those would do to my wall. then he goes all serious and he's like "but i bet you already knew that, right?" and i nodded, cuz yeah, i knew that so he started in on me about my bad attitude and actually wanting to do something with my friends that, ohmygosh, would require someone to drive me somewhere. IF HE'D LET ME GET MY FUCKING LISENCE I WOULDN'T HAVE TO ASK TO BE CARTED AROUND. fuck this. i think i'll go do something...deconstructive

but what I meant was that he didn't put on his post "I NEED HELP. CONSOLE ME WITH MEANINGLESS BABBLE"
-ShadeofDeath