Never

You rolled me under the waves
And I,
The unbending,
Caved
Before something warm and
Safe.
My guilt is a knife wound,
An icicle overhang.
My weakness will cause pain
And anguish
And I will be alone again
Because I never showed you
How deep
And dark
(And broken)
My rabbit hole goes.
(I wonder how long it will take)
I'm afraid
And I'm sorry
And I'm selfish
Because I want to,
Just for a little while,
Be held by someone who doesn't look at
A monster,
A child,
A sinner,
(A shattered soul)
Just for as long as it takes
Let me not be alone.