Thinking of You

Against my better judgement

I find my thoughts on you

And when I guide them back to the present

My heart aches

A rap at the door

"Come in, do come in, it's so terribly cold today."

"Thankee, thankee kind miss, are your parents at home?"

"Why, no sir, they are out at market."

"What are they doing at the market, young miss?"

"Buying bread to lay on the table, sir."

"And who shall eat this bread?"

"Why, my parents and I, sir, for my brother is dead."

"Dead and gone, dead and gone, a pity."

"Pity, sir?"

"A pity you have no one here with you."

"Oh, I'm not alone sir, for I have a cat to keep me company."

"A cat is no companion for a little girl."

"But she is the witch's cat, sir."

"The witch's cat! Dear me, what does she say to you?"

"That you'd be coming today, sir."

"Really?"

"Yes, sir. That's why I have tea ready, sir. Just for you."

"How kind. But I must not stay long. Are you ready to be off?"

"Of course not, sir, my parents are expecting me to be here tonight."

"But they expect nothing, young miss."

"Then, sir, where are we to go?"

"To the mountains of darkness, and by all means, bring the cat."

"But she is not ready to go, sir."

"Then we shall travel alone on the road to Hell."

Burn My Heart to Ash

Just a million miles more to the moon
To the-
Ocean swells at my feet.
And hope is my pillow
While I sail into the sunrise
Into the-
Window that I stare out.
It's raining again...
Hope is my umbrella,
Spread itself over my head
But I look up
And it's a million miles more to the moon
To the-
Salty breeze that steals away my dreams
Under the cover of darkness.
Just remember to hope
With all that you have in your chest
There is so much-
So little time
To dream

My Cup is Empty

Lie against the night, against the trash I sleep in
Just one more drink and I'm gone
You don't give me a second thought
(Styrofoam dreams guide me to rest)
But when they lay me in the ground
I will not rot or crumble
And you'll hate me years from now
When, in all my glory, you'll dig me up and heave me to space
And I will not rot or crumble
A reminder of all your sins
And fights
And humanity
I am your nightmares
And I do not rot or crumble
(Styrofoam dreams to guide you home)

*\/*

Sometimes I wonder if I'm alone when I look at blood




And see roses in bloom

Happy Hallowe'en

Visit this site: The Daily Sporkful
It's all about reviews of music and movies and books by two girls with an interesting outlook. I recommend it for a few good laughs ^_^

H A T E M E

I held a handful of glass shards

I held a handful of thorns

I held a handful of my heart

And then I tore myself apart


Because when the sun comes up tomorrow
I no longer want to cry
Just breathe

Blow Me Down, Devil, Hell Has No Hope

So I stopped and walked to the edge of the world
And looked down
Forever was never going to be long enough
Exploring the way to Hell
I took my map from a pocket
I got it from the Moon and the Moon never lies
The last thing she told me:
Rage against the-
Desire to live and desire to lie
Rage against the-
Rage against the-
Don't speak to the demons
Until you reach the last level
Today is the day you enter the gates of Hell
The gates of Hell and Heaven's clouds
Dead are wrapped in burial shrouds
My tomb lies over the ocean until I can't sleep for the waves
To live forever is the cruelest fate
Tomorrow will never come unless you read the signs
Sometimes you have to pretend
Tell them you're not blind
I read my map and choose a path
And I wish I could say I know what I'm doing
(She's fading fast)
I wish I could say I ever know what I'm doing
(She'll never last)
I look to the Moon and she just sighs
(Angels face down in the water tonight)
Don't speak to the demons until you see their eyes
Wings brushing against your thighs
The children refuse to drink the blood
Tomorrow will never come
You can't wish this map away
You can't run far enough to fade
You can't scream loud enough to not know
You have to choose which way to go
I look to the Moon because she never lies
Rage against the-
Rage against the night

Blow Me Down, Devil

This town is so hick, they think java script is words written with coffee.



Sometimes the sky snows
Sometimes the rain falls
Sometimes the wind blows
Listen to the angels...


a verse from a song i'm working on

Thy Heart

I fell empty upon your doorstep
And touched my face to the ground
I begged thee for mercy and compassion
But was silenced...


...by your sword coming down

She Cried in the Dark

Then I died
With an organ playing at my side
Holding up the moon in shaking hands
I can’t tear myself from your cold embrace
What other place do I have?
Love is the cruelest mistress
And I fell for your brittle charms
As the organ plays at my side
Today is the day we die
Tomorrow was never promised to the damned
And you never want to hold my hand
Holding up the moon to watch it fall
Sometimes I think you love me
Sometimes I think I make-believe it all
There’s a million angels in heaven tonight
Despite the call of hell
And the bells
And the smell of sulphur burning my eyes
When will the organ stop
And let me rest in my demise?
Tomorrow was never promised to the condemned
When we hold up the moon to cover the stars
Emptiness claws at my consciousness
My broken little heart has never been more warm
And I thank you for the moon
And the stars
And the sky
Even though I think you lied
Just to watch me buried with an organ playing at my side

LET ME SLEEP

I just have to get my mind off the past
Off the present
Off the future
Then I'll be okay

When I don't think anymore

When I don't feel anymore


When I can't remember why I hated myself

Death is beautiful no matter how you dance

And dancing is graceless

I believe
I believe dancing is graceless
Faithless?

I'm faithless
Hopeless
Heartless
Without the shadow of the doubt
I am the darkness behind your eyes

All your naughty little lies
The knife in every back you stabbed
The voice that makes the demands

Blood is such a horrid colour

And dancing is graceless

Death is dancing in the moon
In the night
Under the sky
With a million outcast thoughts to haunt your eyes

When will my mind settle down and let me sleep?

I just want to be laid to rest

Get all these agonies off my chest
Stop pressing my heart to a dead line
I feel fine

I promise

v^v

If I killed myself tonight
Would you cry with eyes that hate the loss
Or with eyes that see they must
Mourn the passing of who I was
Would you remember me in joy or hate?
If I stained your carpet red and black
And promised to never come back
Would the tears be for me or you?
Would you be sad?
Would you be glad?
Is what we had over and gone
Am I blindly holding on
To something that doesn't exist anymore?
What do I have left but you
Is even that untrue?
Am I just a delusional little girl?
I doesn't matter if we don't last
It doesn't matter if you want to forget the past
I had something beautiful
And I can't mourn that
Unless you rip my heart away again
Again
Again
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang
But a shriek to the wind
Hoping I never come back again
I'll dream of you tonight
When I lie on your floor and pour out my soul
Just so you know
I always loved you

"This is what Death sounds like"

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
THIS IS THE WAY THE WORLD ENDS
Not with a bang but a whimper




~Stolen from Gizmachi and T.S. Eliot. In that order

And when I dream...

Will you follow me into the dark?

Pass by the evening

The stars have never been so brilliant

Nor your eyes so stark

A million miles to travel

With a lonely pack at my side

Taking my empty heart, I start

As the road unravels long and wide

The dawn whisks away the fleeting

Too long have I gone alone

If I promise to be quiet

Will you lead me home?

Somtimes my heart is heavy

And I see the scars and marks

I only have one question left:

Will you follow me into the dark?

Commemoration?

AND IN OUR ARROGANCE WE BURNED

PRETENDING WE WERE NOT BEING PUNISHED

LET US BURN

LET US FALL

UNTIL THE WHOLE WORLD IS LIT UP

WITH OUR VOICES

All gave some

Some gave all

Rain of Dirt

Dearly beloved,
We are gathered here today in memory of the dawn
And mourn the passing of the sun,
Notwithstanding the unforgiven tides of humanity
Lay him down among his sanity.
Necessarily with words and music raised
This road unpaved.

Now we lay us down to death
And pray all fear has from us fled.

Close the Bible, drop the rose,
Untitled harmonies in shades of gold,

Now we lay us-
Now we lay us-

Dearly beloved,
Rise with me to sing the songs
In melody slow and octaves strong.
Raise your hands and drop your eyes
To the grave, to the one inside.

Look up from hell and hold my hand
Take your blame and understand.

Close the Bible, grip the rose,
Hold it up, the bloom re-grows.

Dearly departed,
Now we’ve laid us down to death,
Hold my hand and hold your breath…

Goodbye, Fichewl

And with all the lights you shot into the dark
I never thought your soul would be so stark
I stand back against this cold wall
And watch your destruction, your downfall
With hands held to my chest
I wait and wait for your dying breath
All you wished on him I wish on you
Vengance is this bright hate I hold for you
Friends come and go, now you're gone too
I held such respect for the projection you showed me
But I find now you're just rotten underneath
I wish we could part with the broken sword of friends
But with what you said, I'm glad THIS is the way the world ends
Not with whispered words of peace and hope
But with your lies around your throat
I kneel against the wall and begin to pray
"Vengeance is mine; I will repay..."
Romans 12:19 gently cradles my bleeding soul
God has more wrath than what you know...

First Fatality, First Loss

The last few days have sucked. I was at my first fatality scene Saturday. Bad car wreck.



Now I find out


that Saturday




A friend of mine died in a wreck






RIP TJ Hughes. Fellow bandie. You're missed...

w00t!

I did it! I made a news blog!!!

^_^