Ouch

all right, it was a stupid and immature question. i just heard it somewhere before and thought it was kinda funny. so i'm immature, what else is new? and i never said that the car was moving. hey, don't tell PITA, they'll come after me. (certainly considering one of the games i have for my xbox...) i'm usually really nice to animals!! (does this sound like begging?)

Anyway, my dad scared me beyond belief yesterday. we were just sorta talking and suddenly he says "one of your friends killed herself." and there i am like whoah, where did that come from and what the ---- does he mean? (yes, one of the few occasions that i swore in my mind) so i'm sitting in front of my computer kinda in tears and he can't remember the name. which kinda pushed me over the edge and i started yelling at him about his stereotypic attitude when it came to teenagers and he started yelling that the reason no one listens to us is because of our rotten attitudes towards our parents and that it's breaking the "Thou shalt honour thy father and thy mother" commandment if we don't want our parents around all the time (funny how when i was 6 it didn't break that commandment if i didn't want my parents there with my friends...). and finally my mom got home from work and it turns out that i don't even know the girl, they just thought that since she went to my school and was in the same grade that i'd know her. there are 600 students in my grade. so basically they think that i know everyone even though i'm like the outcast and i talk to all of three people at school. anyways, after i managed to calm down and stop being anger, i started playing tetris on my computer and listening to Kutless, and i basically break down and start crying and i'm thinking, why was i saved and not that other girl? why did she really go through with it? why didn't i? how could the Lord let this happen to a 16 year old girl with her whole life in front of her? and why was i saved and not her? and i couldn't stop thinking like that for the whole cd and i was trying not to let anyone know that it ripped me up inside when i heard that. i really thought that it was one of my friends. (one of them tried to kill herself before and that kinda...well, if it's like this for a chick i don't know, then you can imagine for someone that i do) i guess it just kinda scared me because i know that girl could have been me. and then my mom made fun of the way she went. she turned on a gas stove, took lots of pills, slit her wrists, and shot herself. and it hurt me more when my mom made fun of her. i better stop typing before i start crying again.

and to not end in this mood because i don't think i can bear that, here's another really immature questions: what was the best thing before sliced bread?