Admit

well, i WAS going to write about prom, but it all came out sounding really bad, and when i say that it was bad, then it was seriously messed up. but whatever. i guess i'm not really in a funny mood to write about stuff like that. i admitted something to someone and now i can't talk about it because i'm too afraid. and i know that it would be good for me to talk about it. but i can't. i just can't. what happened showed me that i'm not ever going to be normal and happy and healthy like everyone else. i guess i kinda still wanted that in some minute way. and now i know that i can never have that. and i could cry about it, but what's the point? tears wouldn't change anything. i know what would change it, talking. but that makes me think of something else, and i will NEVER go back to it! never.

joy, i'm being kicked off the computer.