Beat the Wall

I beat the wall and scream aloud
To hide what is within me
And even though the blood runs down
I turn against myself again
To kill the only living part of me
That happened to survive
And I turn again to darkness
And the light blinds my eyes
Pain is the only sound I fell
Fell so far and I wanted to run
But there was not choice of that
I look upon the scars each day
To see if they will fade
I want to die and scream
For everything that I ever thought
Was mostly false and pain remembers
The way I was and what I knew
Back before I thought this way
Back before I fell into the darkness
I want to cry but tears mean blood
And blood means that death is there
Take this knife from my hands
And rip my heart out because I can no longer move
Or speak or wish for help
There is no help for the likes of me
No one would listen to the voices I know
Whisper to me what you will
There are three and I am one
Who am I to deny them what they wish
For I am not always that strong
And I want to let them control it all
So I scream and hit the wall.