First Cut

Taste the salt of my tears
I fear what I want to do
So filled with hate that I couldn't
Stop
Touch the smoothness of my death
The sharp corners that turn light
To darkness
Hear my sobs before
And after I can't stop
Laughing
The smell of incense and smoke and
Sulfur
I burn in my own personal hell
Echoes of his voice taunting me
So I cut through them
Cut as hard as I can so the sound
Dissolves to my blood
Laughing so hard with tears in my
Eyes
I shatter the shell of my heart
And become numb
The day darkens and I hear
Laughing from inside.


yay, i am now officially in creative writing. i got to write this and not worry about the teach turning me in to the counselours cuz he didn't take them up. prompt: the first time we did something, but it couldn't be school. well, obviously i chose the first time that i cut myself. depressing yes, but i couldn't think of anything else. and i haven't been able to think about much but the knife i hid anyway. so that worked vaguely well. i really think that this year will be kinda fun, i have a pretty good schedule soooo, if i can care this year, i should raise my gpa a lot. and i happen to be with the band, so i no longer have to say that i am completely alone on friday nights. which is good. at least it gets me out of the house.

anyway, today was the first day of school. damn principal. he invited all the parents to attend with us. yeah, right. mine were like, awwww hell no. not that they actually said that, but it was pretty much the same. sooo, we got free lunch and an hour and something to eat it. and only 25 minutes in each class. kinda funny watching the teachers already nervous about school trying to get through the syllabi in that short a time.

my dad also started spazzing on me tonight. our computers are hooked together and we were trying for a network, but we didn't get that yet. i'm hooked up to his DSL box, so if he unplugs that, then i'm offline too. well, he unplugged it, and i asked him to not (i thought i was pretty polite about it). but he said something like, sorry to bother you, and slammed the cords back into the box. geez, wtf? and they said that they'd come to the game tonight. but, of course, they didn't show up. whatever. guess i didn't want them there anyway. damn parents.