Help and Suspicion

i don't think that it's wrong to want help. but i keep getting told that the people i know can't help me. and i dunno if that means that i'm so far gone that they can't, or that they're just incapabale of it, or that the people i know are not mature enough to. and i do try to help the people that i know. but for some reason it's like i must be isolated from them. sure, i can help them, but if they try to help me, then it's evil. and i'm sick of being the way that i am. i don't want to spend the rest of my life curled up inside my shell and fearing people. and yes, my friends have been helping me. for one thing, i've opened up more, and i can talk to complete strangers and it doesn't bother me as much anymore. but i'm told that it's wrong for them to help me, that they can't. so is it wrong to want help? i'm tired of crying and hiding. if it's wrong to want help, then i don't see the point...of having friends, or talking to anyone, or even just being on Earth.

and i'm sick of being held in such suspicion. i mean, i'm basically a good person. and my parents seem to think only the worst of me. like if i'd been skipping school (i was recently questioned on that), or if i secretly have a boyfriend and if i'm still a virgin, or if i'm telling the truth about my friends. geez, if they don't know me by now, i might as well give up trying to make them understand. i just can't believe some of the things that i'm being questioned over. it's like, i turned into a complete stranger overnight. and now they don't even seem to know me. and they keep pushing me away. man, it just hurts, a lot. and i wrote a poem about it, but i'm kinda freaked out about putting it on here cuz it has so much of me in it...and what i've been feeling...